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Archive for May, 2012

Okay, when I started this blog I thought it was going to be primarily musings and sharings about life with my parents with dementia.  But I have found that I have been resisting postings about that subject for the most part.  Well, recently I felt compelled to write a poem, something I haven’t done in years – it used to be a wonderful teenage-angst outlet when I was in high school.  Now I suppose it’s a more-than-middle-aged-angst outlet.  It’s a little darker than I find I’m wanting to post on here, but I want this post to be all about sharing – the experiences, the joys, the burdens.  I’ve been struggling with my mom’s dementia and wondering some of these things I captured below.   Hopefully, those of you who identify can share back and we can all feel more empowered or at least know someone else has “been there”or “is there”.   The amazing thing about when I write something – dark or otherwise – I feel cleansed, released, uplifted.

Please read my poem and let me know your thoughts/reactions.

I believe my answer to every question is yes, and that’s perfectly okay.

Without Regard

By

Nancy Deming-May

Will I feel regret

For not seeing your humor,

For not enjoying your company,

For not getting past the piles,

And reacting to the untrue?

Will I remember the anger and the sadness

In response to your political barbs,

Your invasive questions,

Your accusations

That MY memory has failed?

Will I miss the phone calls

And the demands?

Will I feel bad that I learned to lie to you

because you asked questions

without regard?

Will I set a good example

of patience

For my own children?

Will I plan better

So I am more prepared?

Will I make better choices

So my children aren’t forced

To make the harder ones?

Will I feel I made

The right ones?

Will I long for more time

And opportunities?

Will I remember the good

And tell my children

Funny stories of you

that make us all smile?

Will I learn more compassion

And more empathy

As you lose more of yours?

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