Several times a day I enter or walk through my master bathroom in my house. It’s a pleasant room, with pale lavender walls, a Barbara Pappendick signed print of a woman in her bathing suit (not a Sports Illustrated model), reading while relaxing at the Jersey Shore, a Monet Boats at Argenteuil print (not signed) from my college days, the not-too-ornate white cabinetry, a Jacuzzi tub, and a very comfortable and functional shower. There is a lot of tile in the bathroom – of various colors and sizes – mostly hues of brown and tan – earth tones – very neutral. I’ve moved far too many times in my life, such that I can’t decorate with anything too provocative – especially if it’s permanent or costly to change. I consider tile to be one of these more permanent items.
It was less than a year that we’d been in our house when we started noticing cracks on the floor tiles. These are large 16 inch Italian-kilned square tiles, and the separations that started out as quite mediocre fissures, gradually blossomed into bellowing crevices that would not be ignored. Since the house was still under its one year warranty, we contacted the builder who blamed it on the tile guy, though both agreed to quick repairs. We had spare tiles in our attic and the replacement went smoothly. And then it got cold and we noticed our heated tile floor was no longer getting warm – it fact, it was REALLY cold since our bathroom is over the garage. We again called the builder, who called the floor heater fellow, who blamed it on the tile guy. Not to worry, as he could remove the few tiles he needed in order to repair the break in the floor heater circuit, and we still had some spare tiles in the attic. Just not enough. Thus began our saga with the tile store. The tile was no longer in production, plus you really need to get the same dye lot as what’s already on the floor, or it won’t exactly match. We tried several other tile stores, plus the internet, with no luck, and eventually found some left over tiles by the same name, that would have to do. There’s just one problem – they don’t exactly match all the other tiles in the floor. Thus begins my mismatched-tile metaphor of life.
I used to find, as I passed through this pleasant room, despite the lavender rugs I placed about, that my eyes were drawn to the nonmatching neutral toned tiles scattered throughout the floor. I would register a mild annoyance at this incongruity and go on about my various missions in life. But one day I was struck by the irony of my behavior. Here I had a beautiful, pleasant and darn-near perfect space, yet I kept focusing on the flaws. Shouldn’t I spend more time noticing the things that I liked, that made me feel good and warm at the memory, than allowing my eyes to be drawn to the small little bit that annoyed me? Isn’t this just like life? We usually have so much good around us, so much to be grateful for, yet we often obsess about the teensy parts we don’t like. (We can make them big or we can relegate them to “teensy”; it’s up to us.) What if we trained ourselves to focus on the NICE parts of our “space” so that every time we pass through that place, wherever it is, we see the beloved Monet, or the special perfume that reminds us of a loved one, the crystal flower that stirs a warm memory, or the print that matches a gift given to an old friend that always makes me smile.
So here’s to the mismatched tiles in life. May they help us focus on the many beautiful gifts by which we are indeed surrounded. May we train ourselves to let them redirect us to the warm, loving and balanced space in which we prefer to abide.
Thank you, mismatched tiles. Thank you.
blogsfromtheedge 
Such a great point!
What an uplifting point of view. I’ve had a parallel experience with my new home in Alexandria. Not quite what I wanted, but the best available at the time. Have done one project after another with at least three more to go. My biggest aggravation is the lack of a TV in the living room for want of a cable connection. Five appointments so far and nothing yet installed. I still believe it must be a constitutional right for every American to watch TV while lying on one’s sofa, but for now I get by with the one in the den, over the fireplace that doesn’t quite work as well as it should, across from the kitchen with the spotting cabinets….and the list could go on. But as you point out so beautifully, continuing with the list only detracts from appreciating the way the light carries in to the rooms from the transoms, and the smell of the new wood floors that still lingers and the way the morning light seeps through the plantation shutters each morning. Thanks for orienting me towards the goodness and freeing to see the list of maintenance tasks not as chores to be done but as surprises that will lead to even nicer things to appreciate. Thanks to for connecting me with your blog!
Beautiful summary of your own place Drew – THANK YOU! 🙂
Isn’t that funny? And I would think about it everyday – until I trained myself to think about something else! 🙂
Isn’t that something! And I would think about it every day UNTIL I trained myself to think about something else!
I cant agree more with this piece! Every so often we all do need a little pinch to remind us that the “mismatched tiles of life” are the things that break up the monotony 🙂
Shau-Ann K
Oh thank you Shau Ann! That’s another good point!
Those of us that are born with, or who have programmed into our heads, an innocent and idealistic view of the world have gone down similar paths and have had similar reactions.
Our view of the world is in reality a “handicap” that we must constantly overcome as we confront a frequently harsh and/or threatening world that does not match our idealistic and innocent view.
I am constantly having to reflect on both the teachings of the Philosophers/Prophets on one hand, and of Machievelli on the other hand, when dealing with my handicap. For dealing with day to day challenges needed to satisfy my desires I rely on Machievelli. With any spare resources that I want to dedicate to the hope of some future better world I rely on the teachings of Buddah or some prophet.
Anyone and everyone in this world has desires, so Machievelli, or the 48 Laws of Power, are unavoidable and indispensable “self serving teachings”. Only people blessed with few desires or with excess resources have the opportunity to put into practice the other “altruistic teachings”.
Decades of experience in dealing with the third world have led me to conclude that all essential differences between the first world and the third world is driven by the availability or lack of excess resources to dedicate or even seriously consider “altruistic teachings”. In the third world where so many basic needs go unmet, humans are much less angelic and a whole lot more animal. Woe to the western world and our corroding quality of life as we slowly and unavoidably slip from our first world back into the third world… The only and best solution I have found for this challenge is to prepare myself for the changes to come.
For me, your blog entries capture the essence of this handicap, the conflict it creates, and our current human condition.
Wow Ted, I missed this on the 18th. You are SO cerebral! Thank you for your perspective of the third world. Hmmm…
My first comment… and it was meant for/in response to you Zen on the highway blog entry… (did I mention we are imperfect?)
It takes a while before we understand that the imperfections are often what help us to see what’s right just the way it is — perfect.
Thanks for the wonderful writing and sharing.
Oh thanks Penny! Some days it’s easier than others huh?
Nanc- What a great post! Today, when I go home, I will try not to focus on my ugly couch which I have come to loathe, but rather on the plant next to the window given to me by a dear friend.
Oh goooood! That makes MY day! Funny how this works… 🙂
It is all about contrast isn’t it.? We need the dark to appreciate the light and so on…… In my opinion awareness is the key. You became aware of your “negative” reaction to the mismatched tiles. Awareness is the first step (not denial). You reached a level of acceptance of them and the awakened to the action you could take and focused on what evoked pleasant feelings. The three “A’s” Awareness…Acceptance….Action. Yes you are right, Nancy we are on the similar paths. Thank you for sharing your always excellent and thought provoking writing with us.